The Ballad Of Bill & Carmina

by James & Vicky

Sung as a duet to the tune of “The Wild Rover”:

BOTH: “I've been a wild LARPer for many a year And I've spent all my money on physrep and gear. But now I've return'ed with XP galore,” MALE: “And I never shall play Bill McKenzie no more!”

BOTH: “And it's no, nay, never, (Well maybe your kilt!) No nay never, no more, Will I play Bill McKenzie, No never, no more.”

MALE: “I want to a temple the Light would frequent And I said for Carmina that I had been sent I asked her for nookie, she answered me nay And I wandered off mutt'ring 'she's probably gay'!”

BOTH: “And it's no, nay, never, (Right up St. Cyril!) No nay never, no more, Will I play Bill McKenzie, No never, no more.”

MALE: “I'm twitchy and angry, so listen, take heed: Just one potion 'gainst Glass magic's all that I need. I can't pay with money, my purse is too lean, But I'll show you a good time if you know what I mean.”

BOTH: “And it's no, nay, never, (Right up St. Cyril!) No nay never, no more, Will I play Bill McKenzie, No never, no more.”

FEMALE: “This pirate's been following me for way too long And I've tried to convince him what he wants is wrong. The Light would disown me, my friends stand aghast, But I have to admit he's got quite a nice…”

BOTH: “And it's no, nay, never, (Or maybe just once!) No nay never, no more, Will I shag dirty pirates, No never, no more.”