It's Not Sad

The Waxing Court is pretty. Sometimes I like to just stand and look up at the fragments as they whirl around, losing myself in all of the memories.

It's been… I think a couple of months now, since I came to live here, as the Duchess. Though it's hard to tell how much time passes out there, since in the Court it's only day or night or whatever when we all want it to be. I remember calling out for the King, and they all came to me, and stopped Duke Karl, and… and then we were here, me and Rederick, but he didn't make it, and the Riven Jester took him instead. I think… I think the King offered me a way out, to go back to the world as one of the shards, but… then I'd be too much of him in body, and I don't think Father would like that. So I stayed here instead, to live forever in the Waxing Court, where I can still feel him. I think he still watches over me.

It's not sad. I'm happy here. Most of the others look like, sound like and act like my friends, even if they're not the same as my friends. My cousin, the Princess, is even like me. We have lots of fun together. But sometimes I think about all the things I had to leave behind. Thomas, Rederick, Mother, Athol, Roman, Arrowhat, Dusty, Splinter, my boat… all those friends I never really got to say goodbye to. There's another me out there too, another Sylke who's the duchess of the Port, so they probably think that's me, even though it's not. I wonder what they think of me now?

But it's not all bad. Marriage… well, when you marry someone you get to share a house with them and spend lots of time together. I didn't really understand it before, but I always wanted to spend more time with Thomas, so when I came here I asked him to marry me. And he did. Father wouldn't approve of a marriage to Duke Nerino, but he seems to be happy with this. Though in the end, it hasn't helped me to see him much more often. Though the Knight is like him, it's not him. And now even he thinks that the new Sylke is me. When he enters Communion I try to be there to answer him and see him again, but it's not quite the same, and I can't go back out there to see him again. I think if I did it might hurt him.

Ah… there are tears again. I- I don't have much reason to be sad, so why do I feel upset? I don't understand…

A sing-song voice calls my name. Well, my new name. “Duchess.” It's my voice, but it's not me. Arms draped in blue reach around me and I'm hugged from behind. I reply with my cousin's name. “Princess.” She tells me I look sad, and that I shouldn't worry. “Cousin, sing with me.” I nod, and we sit, and together we sing, of Glass and boats and the moon and adventures and emptiness and anything that comes to mind.

No, it's not sad. For now I'm happy here, and the Waxing Court are my new friends, even if they're not the same as my old friends out there. And one day, when he's done out there Thomas will find his way to the Shattered Plain and we can be together once more. Maybe the others will even let him join the Court. He could be the Duke. And then he'll know the truth, and that I've been waiting for him, and we'll go on all sorts of adventures together. It's going to be fun.

misc/fiction/itsnotsad.txt · Last modified: 2012/05/21 23:08 by chaos
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