Arbella's Adventures In The Three Gardens

aka

Arbella & these weird bird men & killer vines & glass thingies & two fucking GODS!

by James F

Background Notes: The Family Luxfrey are an old Family, who claim to be as old as the White City. They claim Luxfridas, their ancestor, fought in the first Binding War and was one of the original Knights of the Shining Order. They may be right, records of that time aren't very clear. They're definitely old, and they're almost always Light worshippers. Arbella is an exception to that rule, she finds religion so boring! She prefers partying and living the good life. As she's also a distant relation of the De Courcis (her mother's mother was the only child of a cousin of Rebecca's grandfather) she's pretty damn full of herself and makes sure she gets invited to the good parties. She likes to think she's got a bad side as well, and went on the adventure largely to prove her bad girl credentials. Her eldest brother Belric Luxfrey is a Knight in the Shining Order. Her older brother Solric Luxfrey is in a Light monastery somewhere to the north west. Her father Theoderic Luxfrey is dead. Her mother Amabilia Luxfrey (née di Nanpais) is the archetypal strict posh woman (think Lady de B from “Pride & Prejudice” or the aunt from “The Importance of Being Ernest”) except she spoils Arbella, so Arbella can always manipulate her. Claudia di Lornay is just a random minor noble girl and friend of Arbella's, a blonde airhead.

A conversation overheard at the latest ball in the d'Erlanger mansion, between Arbella Luxfrey and Claudia di Lornay:

“Arbella! Darh-ling! I'm hearing all sorts of ker-aaaaay-zey stories about you! Is it true you met the “Ripper” Bill McKenzie last week?”

“Claudia darling, you would not even be-lieve the things I did with Ripper Bill!”

“Oh, you simply must tell!”

“Well, you know how we saw that frightfully exciting adventuress' outfit last week?”

“Oh yes, with the steelsilk corset, soooooo sexy?”

“That's the one. Well, I couldn't resist it. So I got it, and then simply had to go to one of those wonderfully quaint slum bars to wear it, of course. I ended up in some place called the 'Knee and Jockstrap' or something - such a naughty name, how could I resist? And there was a full pub brawl and everything - so exciting! And then I noticed, in a corner, Ripper Bill! I recognised him from those wanted posters we saw, but he was even sexier in real life. All dark and brooding, grrr!”

“Oh, you're so lucky! He's the dream desire object of every noble girl with a bad side!”

“I know! Anyway, he was organising some sort of band of warriors, to go fight the Port of Glass mercenaries who are invading the Garden Lands. And so I signed up, how could I resist? I mean, going on a real adventure! Led by Ripper Bill! Fuck yeah!”

“Totally!”

“So, there was a really mixed bag of people in our 'band'. We had Marco di Falconi, that High Guard person there was all that uproar about who left to be a detective - another person dripping sex.”

“Oh yes, very tasty…”

“And some random Wind sorceror, Bairoth or something. A bit meh. And then a trio of precisely the sort of people I was there to get away from - a Light mage from the Whistful City called Adanemoay, a Knight of the Shining Order called Pedoran, and a bloody minor noble. Francesco di Vert. God he was such a prat - so full of himself, thought he was IT. And he's only some jumped up country count, fairly new to the city. And he dared to be condescending to me! I'm a Luxfrey, we're one of the oldest families in the city, and I'm the third-cousin-once-removed of Rebecca De Courci! What an idiot, I loathed him.”

“Don't blame you, he sounds ghaaaarst-ley!”

“Oh, and there was this horribly coarse person, Gex the Ratcatcher. He lived in the sewers! Can you imagine? The sewers! I mean, I like a bit of rough, but not that much! Just being near him made me want to vomit, the smell was so bad!”

“Urgh, how terrible!”

“I know! Anyway. Off we went, looking for a fight. It was such fun! A bit scary at times, but so exciting! We got attacked by mercenaries with a troll before we even got to the Garden Lands - Gex shot the troll (they looked like they could be brothers or something tho', seriously!) And the Garden Lands themselves were ker-ay-zey! I mean, very purdie with all the flowers, but filled with so many people fighting! We got attacked by D'Artois mercenaries, those bird people that live there, zombies, everything!”

“How did you cope?”

“Well, I'm quite nimble from all my time dancing and so on. So I could easily dodge most of their blows. And sword fighting isn't so hard, you just have to hold the blunt end and stick the sharp bit in people. So I was easily a match for most of them. I wish I could say the same for the rest of the party. Bill was being boring, just getting ready for his ritual. Gex just skulked around behind us using his crossbow, leaving us to do the actual dangerous stuff, just what you'd expect from a peasant. The Wind mage spent most of his time flying, trying to stop people damaging his oh-so-precious cloak, what a po-serrrr. Di Vert generally kept away from danger, and Pedoran was a bit useless at fighting and just relied on having so much armour no one could hurt him. So yeah, it was mainly down to me, Marco and Adanemoay.”

“Wasn't it dangerous, tho'?”

“Not unless I got too ganged up on. There were a few times I had problems - like when I was attacked by a whole group of undead! I mean, it's easy to hit them and they're very slow, but so hard to make them actually die! Actually, they forced me off the path and into one of the gardens, which everyone got really shitty about. Apparently those bird people don't like it when that happens. I mean, it wasn't my fault, I was forced by a fucking crowd of zombies. But Marco went psycho and actually punched me! What a cad. I mean, he managed to make the flowers grow back using magic or whatever, so it didn't matter. But everyone got so uptight! And di Vert just wouldn't shut up about it! Of course, he always hung around near the back of the action, so wouldn't understand what it was like. But he just wouldn't be quiet, badgering me with “don't step on the flowers” all the time. “Only Adanemoay didn't get shitty, so I liked him more than anyone else. Sure, he's a Light mage. But he's kind and helpful. “Anyway. After I stepped on the gardens, the trees kept attacking me all the time! It was terrifying! Vines kept appearing and trying to grab me, and everyone refused to help except for lovely Adanemoay, and Bairoth a bit. Adanemoay was a real gentleman, not like di Vert or any of the others. He cut all the vines away, and bandaged me where they'd cut me.”

“Arbella and Adanemoay, sitting in a tree…”

“Shut up! Besides, he's a Light worshipper, you know what that means… Anyway, then Bill decided to do his ritual thingie - he gave us our money, lay down, and slit his wrists! What a nutter!”

“Bill's dead?”

“Don't interrupt! Anyway, so Bill's lying there bleeding, and then all hell breaks loose! So many things attack us! Bird people, mercenaries, these weird Glass thingies, everything! Some of the others were really suffering, couldn't keep up with it at all. Poor Adanemoay was filled with arrows! Then it got quiet, and some bird people came for a truce. They told us they'd leave us alone if we just stopped the ritual and left. So we were discussing this, when a fucking GOD appears!”

“REALLY?”

“Yep, someone said he was the Lord of the House of Gods or something - the Ash dude who keeps the souls of dead gods! And he was really angry with Bill! I don't know what Bill had done… But then, ANOTHER God appeared!”

“ANOTHER?”

“Yep, another god, of Ash again. The Lord of the Gardens or something, who looks after the Garden Lands and is the god of those bird people! And he told the Lord of the House of Gods to leave Bill alone, and told us to protect him! After his bird people had told us to stop the ritual! Make your mind up! And then the Lord of the House of Gods sent armies of weird Ash people to fight us! Which was a pretty tough fight, even for me. But eventually we succeeded. And then Bill erupted into vines!”

“NO!”

“Yes! Like, vines came out of the ground and out of him and through all his veins and just went crazy! And then the bird men arrived and got all angry with us. And yeah, that was it, really. Bill had done his ritual, it looked like he was dead, and we didn't want to piss them off more. We tried explaining what their god had said, but they were a bit shitty. So we headed back to the city, as fast as we could. But the Gardens were so confusing, we all got separated. I ended up alone with damn di Vert, and we were ambushed by a whole bunch of Glass mercenaries and mages and stuff like that. But you know, by that time another couple of things to kill was no problem, really, even for di Vert. So we fought our way past that no problems, and ended up back on the di Vert estate. And we came back to the city the next day!”

“Fucking Ash, Arbella. You sure know how to have a good time!”

“I know! I mean, what do we do in a normal day? Wake up, choose our clothes, do a bit of visiting people, maybe some shopping, then some sort of evening party. Whereas I went out, fought hordes of evil guys and monsters and stuff, saw loads of cool magic and met two Gods! Not bad, no? “Of course, Belric and mother weren't too happy about it all. But mother's a push-over, and I think Belric is more angry at Marco for punching me than anything. Oh, and I met Adanemoay again back in the city - I gave him a sword made by Belric's favourite armourer, very good quality. And Belric offered him accommodation in one of the wings of our house, to say thanks for protecting 'his little sister'.”

“Which you're not complaining about…”